Dipper goes to Taco Bell [My Take] - Barrel2s1cool (2024)

It was a normal day in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Well, as normal as Gravity Falls gets, anyways. Dipper Pines was reading his book, and Mabel, his twin sister, was wondering what he was doing.

"Dipper, are you gonna keep your nose buried in that strange book of yours all summer? You gotta go out, have an adventure!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Not now," Dipper said quietly. "I'm trying to decode this."

He was looking at a cryptogram that said, "XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII". Dipper was offically stumped. He could not figure out what it meant. And it seemed very mysterious to him.

"Grunkle Stan is gonna take us to the diner for lunch, Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed.

Dipper, however, was not in the mood for the diner. He was publicy humiliated the last time he went, and he thougt the food wasn't very good anyway.

"Mabel, I don't want to go to the diner," Dipper said solemmly. "I want to go somewhere else."

"But there is really nothing else in town, ulness you count the Taco Bell near the forest." Mabel replied.

"Taco Bell?" Dipper's ears perked up. He had never eaten at Taco Bell before, and ever since last week, he had a craving for mexican food for some reason.

"Why don't we go to Taco Bell today?" Dipper asked.

"Taco Bell?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "Why d'you wanna go THERE? It smells like the bathroom when it gets clogged."

"I had my heart set on pancakes, Mabel moaned."

"Listen, you can go to Taco Bell if you want to, but don't come crying to me when you smell like expired onions."

"Fine, I Will." Dipper said harshly.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Grunkle Stan said. But as he was exiting the Mystery Shack, the door hit him on the way out.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA!" said Grunkle Stan. He was laughing.

So anyways, Mabel and Grunkle Stan went to the diner, while Dipper tried to find the Taco Bell. He had brought with him his book and a couple bucks. But finding the Taco Bell was harder than he had previously thought. He had been looking around town for what seemed like days. The Mystery Book wasn't helping him either. Until he saw a flicker of a sign in the forest. He went into the forest.

"Why would there be a Taco Bell in the forest?" Dipped asked himself.

After hiking for about an hour, Dipper finally got to the Taco Bell. But it sure didn't look like any Taco Bell he'd ever seen. It was surrounded by a barrage of giant Oak trees, in an open field, completely different from the rugged terrain of the Oregon forest. The open field was covered with at least three layers of pine needles, which got the attention of Dipper. He stuck his hand into the pine needles.

"OW!" Dipper shouted. A pine needle poked him. It hurts.

The resturant, Taco Bell, looked like a silo, sort of. Well, it was very cylindrical. The outside had rusty picnic tables, and looked like no one used them at all. Dipper walked up to the resturant's door.

"Should I go in there?" Dipper asked himself. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. Why is there a small, desolate, Taco Bell in this forest, miles from the nearest road? But I guess it's my only option. Mabel and Grunkle Stan are probably done with lunch right now."

And they were. Mabel wondered why Dipper hadn't come back yet, but Grunkle Stan didn't give a damn.

So Dipper entered the resturant. But he was relieved to see that the interior was normal, except for its high celing. There were also no customers inside, but Dipper thought that was normal, considering how the franchise was so isolated.

He went up to the counter. There was only one cashier working the registers. A very old, slightly deaf, bored out of his skull cashier.

Dipper decided what he wanted to order, than approached the register.

"Excuse me, I'll hav—"

"WE ONLY GOT TACOS!" the cashier interrupted.

"Ok, I guess I'll have a taco, then." Diper said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the cashier yelled.

"I SAID I WANT A TACO." Dipper yelled back.

"Ok, then." The cahier said, then went in the back for a few minutes. When he came out, he was carrying Dipper's taco.

"That'll one dolla," the cashier said. Dipper gave him the money, and went to sit down at the least grimiest table.

He bit into the hot, spicy, juicy taco, filled with thick, pure, meat, mild, tantalizing black beans, and sour, fluffy, sour cream. He enjoyed the single bite of that perfectly cooked taco, and still tasted it in his mouth after he swallowed it.

But as he was about to bite into it a second time, he felt a churning movement inside his body, something that he had felt often.

"Uh oh." Dipper said, than rushed to find the lavatory.

"Man, that really went through me," Dipper said to himself.

For some reason, the bathrooms were hidden in a corner, far from the counter, and far from the table he was sitting at.

When he walked in, he found that the bathrooms were surprisingly clean, for a fast food resturant, anyway. And Dipper found this suspisicious. All of the stalls were full, and no one was using the urinals.

But, right on cue, someone walked out of one of the stalls. Dipper didn't pay much attention to who was walking out, but he was wearing all black, and had a plastic bag with him. Dipper just had to go.

Immediately, he enter the stall, and let out the beast. The sound was like a tornado in a bathtub with multiple lions roaring. It was bad. And when he was done, he looked into the toilet bowl. It was filled with what looked like a black pit full of poop.

Dipper cringed as he exited the stall. "Well, that was a mistake," he murmured to himself. The janitor, who was sweeping the floor, paused for a moment, his eyes widening at the smell before shaking his head and continuing his task. Dipper washed his hands thoroughly, using the minty soap to mask the scent. As he walked back to the table, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off about this Taco Bell.

The old cashier was staring at him intently. Dipper felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment, assuming he had made a scene with his... explosive visit to the bathroom. He took a seat and tried to ignore the cashier's gaze, flipping through his book to distract himself. As he read, he stumbled upon a page with a symbol that looked eerily familiar—like the one he had seen in the bathroom stall.

Curiosity piqued, he decided to explore further. He approached the cashier, trying to act casual. "Hey, do you know anything about that symbol?"

The old man squinted at him. "You ain't from around here, are ya?" he said, his voice gravelly. "Best not to mess with what ya don't understand, kid."

Dipper felt a chill run down his spine. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." The old man spoke, "There's a demon named Golgothan, made of...uh, less than savory materials, if ya know what I mean. Legend has it, he was created when the criminals who were crucified along with Jeaus, relieved their bowels. And that symbol you're asking about, it's his calling card."

Dipper's eyes went wide. "That's crazy! And why would it be in your bathroom?"

The cashier leaned closer, his breath smelling faintly of stale nachos. "Look, I just work here. But rumor has it, this ain't no ordinary Taco Bell. Some folks say it's built on sacred ground, others say it's a portal to the underworld. But I've seen things...strange things. And that symbol, it's always here. I got some febreeze hopefully that'll keep that stench away or stop that damn thing."

"Are you sure about that?"

Dipper saw the demon, Golgothan and the demon looked freaky. It's skin is bumpy and it looked vaguely human, taller than Stan and with a stench that could make a skunk faint. It had a grin that was way too wide for any creature to have, and it's eyes were like two burning coals.

The old man noticed a group of customers and thought of a plan, "Anyone who destroyed this demon, get a free taco!!"

The other customers excluding Dipper, who were a mix of locals and tourists, looked up from their meals with varying degrees of interest and skepticism. One burly man chuckled, his mouth full of nachos. "Yeah, right. Like anyone's ever seen that before."

Dipper, however, was already on edge. He remembered reading about Golgothan in his book. It was said that the demon could only be summoned by someone who consumed food tainted by evil or consumed in a place of great darkness. Could this remote Taco Bell be that place?

Immediately the customers jumped at Golgothan, throwing their food at it, which was a mistake. The food just stuck to its body, making it look like a disgusting, human-shaped burrito. The demon roared with laughter, each bellow echoing through the Taco Bell and making the lights flicker.

Hiwever, Dipper found the Febreeze, two of them under the counter. He sprayed them at Golgothan and to his surprise, the demon screamed. The spray was like holy water to it.

The burly man, who had been skeptical before, took a swig of his soda and spit it at the demon. To everyone's shock, the soda bubbled and sizzled like it had been thrown on a hot griddle.

"It's working!" Dipper exclaimed, taking a deep breath to gather his courage. He grabbed the plastic bag he had seen the man in black leave behind and tossed it at Golgothan. The demon's laughter turned to a growl as the bag expanded and began to envelop him. The bag was filled with the crumpled pages of Bibles, each one soaked in the tears of the truly repentant. The cashier had been prepared.

The other patrons looked on in horror as the demon began to struggle, the holy scripture burning away at its foul form. The burly man, now a believer, picked up a chair and smashed it over Golgothan's head, the wood splintering into a hundred pieces. The demon's eyes grew wide with fear as the room's energy shifted from skepticism to a collective determination to survive.

Finally, Golgothan was destroyed, the remains was a pile of crap and shredded Bible pages. The customers sighed out of relief.

At the Mystery Shack, Mable was feeling very worried about Dipper, so she went off and tried to find him. She went off into the forest first, (She knew where it was) and, suprinsignly, got there in less time than Dipper.

As she entered the newly cleaned doors, she was met with the aftermath of Golgothan's defeat.

Mabel asked, "Hey what happen here?"

The cashier looked over at her with a mix of shock and admiration, "Your brother, he's a hero. He defeated Golgothan, the demon of poop!"

The janitor appeared again and groaned, "I'm too old for this sh*t!"